


mi cielito

by writeitininkorinblood



Category: Gone Series - Michael Grant
Genre: After the FAYZ, Coming Out, M/M, spoilers for Light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 06:25:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4009282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeitininkorinblood/pseuds/writeitininkorinblood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life outside the FAYZ wasn't exactly what Edilio had been expecting. But he couldn't complain, not really. At least none of the animals talked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tell me it's okay

**Author's Note:**

> Please bear in mind that it's been a few years since I've read the Gone series so it's entirely possible that I've gotten some little details wrong. If this is the case then let me know and I'll fix them :)
> 
> Also I cannot speak Spanish so please also let me know if Google Translate has lied to me..,

"Mama, sit down, okay? I have something kind of big to tell you."

 ***

Edilio watched as his mother sat down in the seat beside him, looking fearful of what was going to come from her son's mouth next. He sighed and pointed at the news story on the TV.

"Mama, that boy's name is Roger. And he's my... he's my world." Edilio hadn't meant to do it like this. He'd wanted to slowly introduce his mum to the idea that he liked boys, and then to explain Roger. But he had to say it out loud. Had to tell someone, anyone, that Roger was alive. "I... I thought he'd... died. But he's okay. My Roger's okay." He bit back a sob and replaced it with a gulp of laughter.

"He was your friend? You looked after him?" His mum was confused, he could see it in her eyes and on her brow. It made Edilio frown that his mother didn't even seem to consider the fact he could be more than friends with a boy, but he knew it was the fault of a culture and not an individual.

"He was, no, he is, my.... boyfriend." It wasn't a word Edilio had used before, but it sounded right. "I would give my life for him and I thought he'd died and  _dios_  that hurt. That hurt so much and I should have been there with him, but Mama he got away and he's alive. Can I go and see him? Please?" Edilio had given up holding back tears, letting them streak down his face and catch on the corners of his mouth where they turned up into a smile.

"Edilio,  _mijo_ , what are you telling me?" The confusion on his mother's face has shifted to fear.

"I'm gay, mama. I love that boy," he gestured to the TV screen where the news segment still ran. "I love Roger, and I am gay. They're taking him to SLO and I'd very much like to go and let him know that I'm alive and that I'm sorry and that I love him."

"You're not... You can't be... Is this what that place did to you? Made you like this?" She was grasping at straws, trying to find an explanation for something that seemed so alien to her.

"No. Mama, no. The FAYZ left its scars, on me as much as anyone else. But it didn't make me gay. It just helped me realise myself, he helped me. I would be gay with or without the FAYZ. It just didn't matter in there. The world had gone to hell so whose bed I slept in was the least of anyone's problems." Edilio stopped abruptly. Maybe he'd taken that too far. His mum was certainly going to assume that meant the worst. She hadn't seen the FAYZ, hasn't known how you had to have someone to lie beside at night to keep you sane sometimes. Roger was only fifteen; they hadn't done anything like what his mother was now thinking. They'd held each other through nightmares and each provided comfortable warmth for the other to curl up next to when he needed it most. Edilio had let himself be vulnerable around Roger in a way he'd never done with anyone before. He'd already lost him once to the FAYZ, he wouldn't lose him again because the outside world wasn't ready to accept them. He never wanted to feel that dull agony again. It had ached and bitten away slowly at his strong demeanour. He'd known he still had people to fight for: his friends, the littles, the memories of those they'd lost; but all he'd wanted to know was that he'd have Roger afterwards. That their hell would be over and he'd have Roger in his arms. Maybe now that could become a reality. Knowing he'd fought for Roger as well as those other kids, that felt good.

"Say something, Mama. Please. Tell me it's okay." He just needed to hear the words from her. A reassurance that he was accepted and still valued.

"I don't know that it is okay,  _mijo_. I'm not sure about this..." The suggestion behind the words that Edilio had chosen to be how he was stung, but he shook off the blow and tried again.

"I'm still the same person. I'm still Edilio and I'm still your son. Who I happen to love doesn't change that. Please. Let me see him. He needs to know I love him and he needs to know I'm so sorry I left him behind. I thought he'd be safe. I never wanted him to get hurt. I was meant to be the one in harm's way..."

"Not now. I need to think about this. This is a lot to deal with." 

That was the spark that ignited fire. Edilio's voice went cold and his eyes hardened. Finding out your son was gay was nothing compared to the horrors he'd seen in the FAYZ. The horrors that infants had seen. That had put everything in perspective.

"No, Mama, I'm sorry but it's not. Seeing people murdered before your eyes, children killing children. Trying to save as many people as possible but only getting more people hurt. Talking coyotes. Killer worms. A plague. Starvation. That's all a lot to deal with. Me loving a boy? That's nothing. I need to see my boyfriend. The last time I did was before I left on what I was sure would be a suicide mission. I couldn't even bring myself to say goodbye.  **I have to see him**."

His mother looked at him and suddenly realised that her son had changed. He wasn't the 14 year old she'd lost. The FAYZ had made him strong; it would have made his callous and deadened without his friends and without Roger. This wasn't a war she could win. She had to accept her son, or lose him. And she'd already lost him once before.

'Okay, mijo. We can go to see him.'


	2. Can I see him?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how the American healthcare system works, so please accept my liberal use of artistic license.

Equal measures of nerves and excitement ran in Edilio's veins on the journey to SLO. He couldn't wait to see Roger again, and to be able to hold him and kiss him without the fear that something bad was constantly around the corner. They were free to be kids again, not having to worry about whether they would survive the night or the following day. The nervous aspect was not knowing who he'd find in the hospital. He knew it was Roger, but he wasn't sure what state Roger would be in. And he didn't know whether or not Roger would still want him now the FAYZ was gone. So many questions, all ringing in Edilio's ears as they finally reached the hospital and he tracked his way to a visitors desk.

"Hi, you have a survivor from the FAYZ here? Just brought in. Can I see him? It's important." It wasn't the politest Edilio had ever been, but he was desperate to see for himself that Roger was okay. His fingers were gripping the desk, turning white as the pressure forced away blood.

The nurse behind the desk looked up at him, cocking her head as she tried to place where she'd seen him before. Edilio wasn't sure whether or not it was a good thing that she might realise she'd seen him on the news segments about the FAYZ.

"Unfortunately I can't let you through, sir. He's not ready for visitors. And even if he were, you'd have to be family." She blinked wide eyes at him, sympathetic but resolute. Edilio's heart sank. Roger was so close but he couldn't get to him yet. He tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

"Oh. Okay. Please can you tell him Edilio Escobar wanted to see him? I just want him to know I was here. That I'll see him as soon as I'm allowed." Edilio tuned away from the desk to hide the way his face fell. He wasn't sure what to do now. Did he leave, go home without seeing Roger? Or did he sit and wait in the hope that he could find a way of seeing him soon.

"Wait,  _you're_  Edilio?"

"Yes...?" Had she put a face to a name from the news?

"He's been asking for you. Constantly." Edilio grinned at the words. Roger hadn't forgotten him, he still wanted him. "You and someone called Justin? But there's no Justin on the survivor roll...' Oh.  _Oh_. Of course Roger would be mourning Justin. From what Edilio had heard, the attack on the lake had been brutal. He didn't know exactly what Roger had seen, but it didn't sound like anything a fifteen year old should ever have to see.

"No, Justin's.. Justin didn't make it. He was Roger's... well surrogate brother, I guess."

"Roger? Is that the name of this boy?"

"Yeah. Roger Johnson. You don't even know his name?" From the way the nurse was quickly scribbling down Edilio's words, they didn't.

"He wouldn't say anything but 'Edilio' and 'Justin.' We haven't been able to contact a family. This is very helpful, thank you. I... I'm not meant to do this, but you obviously mean a lot to him. And he clearly means a lot to you. I can let you see him for a little while. A few minutes. Would that work?"

Edilio’s breath caught in his throat and he managed a shaky nod. He was going to see Roger. Roger was _alive_ and Edilio would be able to see him and maybe hold him and kiss him. He grabbed hold of the desk to stay standing. It felt like the world was turning too quickly beneath his feet.

"That would be incredible, thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was really short, I'm sorry. The final part is longer.


	3. You're really here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter!

"Edilio!"

Roger lit up once he saw who was standing in the doorway, throwing back the sheet covering his legs and making an attempt to pull the IV drip and monitoring wires from his arm so he could get to him.

Edilio rushed across the room to tug Roger's hands away from the wires. 

"Hey, no, don't touch those,” he protested. “They're helping you get better." 

He studiously ignored how weak Roger had become and focused on the spark that still existed when their hands brushed. Roger just ran his hands over Edilio's face, gently tracing his nose, his cheekbones, his forehead as he was tucked back into his hospital bed. Edilio couldn't help but smile as Roger's fingers outlined his lips. He wanted to sit on the edge of the bed but Roger looked small and fragile and Edilio didn't want to hurt him, settling for crouching awkwardly at his side.

"You're really here,” Roger whispered, his tone reverent and disbelieving. “'Dilio, you're here. I thought you'd... I didn't think you'd survive facing Gaia. They told me you survived but how could I believe it before I saw you and oh god you're here.”

He was mumbling but he couldn’t help it. All he’d known for far too long was wilderness and then the inside of this room, and now the boy he loved more than anything was standing in front of him and he was too happy. He couldn’t really remember happy properly. Even moments of joy in the FAYZ had been tainted, but this was pure happiness and it was heady and addictive.

"Yes,  _mi cielito_ , I'm here. I can't be here long, but I'm alive and well and it's all okay now."

Edilio pressed a gentle kiss to Roger's lips, hearing the nurse behind him shuffle awkwardly. She hadn't guessed what they were to each other, only that they were important to one another. Edilio ignored her, not caring that other people, people outside the FAYZ, would know quite how important Roger was to him. There were still things Edilio had promised to go to. Vigils. Memorials. Speeches. And if Roger was well enough and willing then Edilio would have his boyfriend next to him at every one of them. The whole world was going to end up knowing how much he cared for him. But right now that wasn't the priority. 

Roger’s happiness could only last so long. The FAYZ still haunted everyone; memories reaching like tentacles to pollute everything as kids tried to scrape together normal lives again. And Roger had some terrible memories that made for powerful ghosts.

"Justin. Justin, he... In front of me..." Roger began to tremble, clearly fighting back sobs. It was the first real sign Edilio had that Roger wasn't entirely the same person he had left behind at the lake. Edilio wanted nothing more than to pull him into a hug, to make him feel safe and warm and protected, but he was worried he'd only hurt Roger more. The boy in the bed had bones brittle enough to snap.

"I know. I know and I'm so sorry. I loved that kid, too, you know that. I know it hurts, babe, I know. It's okay that it hurts." He turned his head to meet the nurse's eyes desperately, gesturing towards the bed. "Am I going to hurt him if I hold him?"

"Not if you're careful,” she admitted, sighing. They’d all tried futilely to comfort the boy when he’d gotten hysterical before and maybe this Edilio kid would have more luck.

That was all Edilio needed to hear, slowly climbing up to lie next to Roger, calculating every movement to ensure he jostled him as little as possible. Wrapping his arms gently around his boyfriend, Edilio held him whist he cried.

***

"Is everything going to change now?" Roger asked a little later once his sobs had subsided and he was revelling in the feeling of lying next to the boy he loved again.

Edilio thought about the question. His first instinct was to reassure Roger that nothing would change, but that wasn’t true. Everything was different. They were free from the FAYZ, but that meant they weren’t allowed to do whatever they chose to anymore. Not that Edilio wouldn’t take homework and curfews and rules over starvation and killer worms any day. So he told Roger the truth.

"Yes,” he admitted. “There's no more struggling to survive. People will treat us like kids again. We'll have to go back to school. But you’ve still got me, if you want me?" He held his breath as he waited for an answer.

"I want you. So much,” Roger said, completely certain.

Edilio pressed a kiss to Roger's forehead to mask the grin he couldn't suppress.

“I want you, too. I want to introduce you to my mom, and my brothers and sister. I want to do homework with you. I want to watch TV with you. I want to hold hands with you and kiss you. We get a life, Roger. We’re free from the FAYZ and as soon as you’re out of hospital we are going to have a real relationship with dates and everything, without worrying that we, or all our friends, are about to die. How does that sound?”

“So good,” Roger whispered, tears of happiness collecting in the corner of his eyes.

Edilio couldn’t help but agree.

*

The nurse watched the interactions and couldn’t help but be thankful that something had finally managed to calm her patient a little. He seemed almost normal with this boy in the room and she was certain that wouldn’t last once they were separated again but she knew she couldn’t let Edilio stay any longer. Catching his eye, she tapped her watch regrettably.

"I have to go,  _mi cielito_ ,” Edilio sighed, shifting to swing his legs over the side of the bed and sit up.

"No. Stay,” Roger protested.

He grabbed Edilio’s arm, wincing as the quick movement caused aches to rush through his muscles.

"I can't, babe. I'm trying to be on my best behaviour in the hope they'll let me come back and see you again." Edilio winked at the nurse, who only smiled back reassuringly. "I'm not exactly supposed to be here, considering I'm your boyfriend and not your family."

"Boyfriend,” Roger repeated softly, smiling. “You've never said that before."

Edilio froze, worried he'd taken everything too far too fast. The word had slipped out before he’d even given it a second thought.

"Are you okay with me saying it?" He asked, uncertain.

When Roger nodded, Edilio let out a long sigh of relief out and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

"Good. I’m glad. I really do have to go. But I love you, and I’ll be back soon,” he promised, hoping he’d be allowed to stay true to his words. He had no idea how the hospital staff would feel about repeat visits, especially considering he’d outed both of them.

“I love you, too,” Roger said, kissing Edilio’s hand since it was all he could reach without moving all that much.

*

Leaving Roger brought back uncomfortable memories of the last time he’d had to walk away, but Edilio knew this time was different. He was coming back. He knew he was; no one could stop him. Everything was going to be okay. As he walked in awkward silence back down the hospital corridor, he was already trying to plan the next time he could visit.

“So. He’s important to you,” the nurse said, her words echoing around the empty hall. She didn’t phrase it as a question. It was obvious.

“Yes. And?” Edilio’s tone was harsh. He wasn’t all that used to dealing with homophobia yet but it already made him tense and guarded.

“I’m not judging,” she explained, kindly. “Just observing. I’ll let you know what hours I’m down to work. I don’t know how many of the other nurses will let you in to see him. But I’ve never seen him as calm as when you walked in that room.”

The words had Edilio muttering an apology and offering a smile. If he was helping, he’d be back to see Roger any time they’d let him. And even if that was only once a week or so, they had the rest of their lives together. They were free to leave the FAYZ behind them and Edilio couldn’t wait to get a life back that seemed even better than the once he’d left behind all that time ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, over a year later, this is finally finished! Sorry it took so long, thanks for bearing with me!


End file.
